Conflicted

I created this abstract work in a two month window earlier this year to tune out from my reality and my helplessness. This was my outlet while my 64 year old father was 700 miles away. While I have been 700 miles from him since I was 8 years old, these two months… so far away… came with a stage 4 cancer diagnosis for him and his decision to undergo radiation, chemo, and other treatments. A decision I will never understand. I finished this piece the night before I boarded a plane to go to him one last time, and become his in-home hospice nurse. He passed 3 days later. My first colored pencil piece from 9th grade art class, still proudly displayed in his foyer. I am conflicted about every decision made. In my art, in my life… About where the light comes from, how it reflects off each of us, and how much darkness remains.